


The Right Girl

by NotaDroid (mjonhunt)



Series: The Laughter and the Tears [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjonhunt/pseuds/NotaDroid
Summary: In the aftermath of her confrontation with Doyle, Emily begins a relationship with Reid.  Is she the right girl for him?
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Aaron Hotchner
Series: The Laughter and the Tears [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793704
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

_March 2011_

_Emily's Ambulance_

The rest of the ride to hospital, Emily found great comfort in holding Reid's hand. Was it just because it was Reid? Or was she finally happy to be alive again? Maybe the ordeal was finally over. Maybe this was merely the euphoria of surviving a miserable ordeal.

When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, JJ and Clyde were there. The EMTs wheeled her into the Emergency Room. There was a private area set up. After the doctor came in and stitched her up, she was alone with JJ and Clyde.

"What's going on?" Emily asked.

"I'm here coordinating between INTERPOL and Homeland security," JJ said. "He's here" JJ indicated Clyde," to offer a deal."

"A deal? I don't need a deal. I took care of it."

"Yeah, I know Doyle's dead," Clyde said. "But we have a problem. We still don't know how he escaped or where he got the money to finance this party."

"Not my problem." Emily said.

"It is if someone wanted him to go hunting. Emily, you can't be sure you're safe yet. Jeremy sold us out, but only after Doyle escaped. Someone else helped him escape."

Emily looked at JJ. "Homeland Security?"

"If you want to take the deal, Emily Prentiss will officially die tonight. You'll be set up in Europe. Clyde and I will work with you. We'll work to find out who, if anyone, is behind Doyle's escape."

"No."

"Emily, just take a moment. We don't know if it's over because Doyle's dead. You could still be in danger."

"Then the team is my best chance to survive."

"We," Clyde said, "are your best chance to survive."

"Yeah, because you did such a good job up to now. Doyle escaped. Doyle killed everyone on the team except for you and me. You had no idea where he was. I found him. And the team found him too."

She looked back at JJ, "If Homeland security wants to give me extra protection, fine. But I'm done working for him." She pointed at Clyde.

"Don't be an idiot."

"We're done here," JJ said.

"Agent Jareau," Clyde said," you don't know what you're dealing with."

"Oh, I think I know exactly what we're dealing with here. Let's go."

Clyde looked at Emily. "You owe us. We're in this together."

"If you want my help, I suggest to ask my boss, SSA Aaron Hotchner. Otherwise go fuck yourself."

"Let's go," JJ grabbed Clyde's arm and took him out of the ER.

Meanwhile, the team was sitting in the waiting room hoping to hear good news soon. Over in one corner, Garcia was sitting next to Hotch.

"What's wrong Aaron?" she asked. She was careful not to call him Aaron at work.

"Besides the fact we're waiting to see if she's alive? Or that we couldn't help her in this?"

"There's something more than that, though, isn't there? Clyde told you something really bad, didn't he?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Really?"

"I'm ... I'm sorry."

"You can't or you don't want to?"

"I just ...I can't."

Her hand ran up and down his arm. "It's something security related. One of those things protocol says you can't tell, right?"

"If I could ..."

"Okay. It's all right. I'm understand. If you can tell me, you will. It's going to be okay." She linked his arm in hers and pulled her close to him. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the closeness of her body to his.

While they were talking, Morgan was talking to Reid. "What were you doing there, kid?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I left, you were at the home office. Why were you at the site? What were going to do?"

"There was nothing to do at the office."

"Kid, is there something going on between you and Prentiss?"

"She's my friend, that's all." Reid said. "And I was afraid she was already dead."

"So what were you going to do? Say good-bye?"

"It's more than I got to do with Gideon or Elle."

"Kid..."

"Morgan, I know what we do is dangerous. Things happen. But ...you knew something was wrong with her, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked her if she wanted to see Solaris with me a few weeks ago, and she asked if you put me up to it. I took that to mean she thought you were playing matchmaker."

"Wait, you asked her out? Like on a date?"

"No. But they were showing the original Solaris in Russian. She was the only person I knew who could watch it with me and know what was happening. That's all. But you knew something was bothering her. And it was this."

"Kid, that part doesn't matter. You asked her out and you wanted to be there if she needed an ambulance. I think you want to be more than friends."

"This is why I don't talk to you about things like this."

Then they heard the door open, and saw JJ there. All eyes were on her.

"Emily's doing fine. We can see her in a few minutes. They'll come and let us know when."

Everyone looked relieved. Garcia kissed Aaron on the cheek. "I told you everything would be all right."

JJ noticed the kiss, and how Garcia was holding Aaron. She sat next to Morgan and whispered,"When did that start?" pointing her head in Hotch's and Garcia's direction.

"A few weeks after you left." Morgan said.

"Really?" I didn't see that coming.

"Just one of many things we didn't see coming," Reid said.

"Like you taking off to be at the scene?" JJ asked.

"Or you coordinating for Homeland Security. I thought you were going to a be a Media Liaison for the Pentagon."

"Yeah, well, it's a little more complicated than that, as it turns out. She wanted me to tell you something Spence."

"What's that?"

"You owe her a movie."


	2. Chapter 2

Emily Prentiss was released from the hospital a few days later. The team had already returned to Quantico. It was more like they were summoned by Erin Strauss, who had returned from vacation. Upon her release from the hospital, Emily flew back to Quanitco. As per Hotch (who was under orders from Strauss), Emily went to the BAU as soon as her plane landed.

The team was in the bullpen. Emily had just started going through emails when Hotch summoned her to his office. She saw Strauss was standing there next to him. She sighed. She knew something like this was coming. She turned to walk up the stairs to Hotch's office when she heard Morgan's voice behind her.

"No matter what, we're all behind you Emily."

Emily turned to him. "I'm sorry. I should of told you what was happening but ..."

"It's okay. I understand why you did what you did. Everyone understands why you did what you did."

"Including Strauss?"

"That I don't know."

When Emily walked in the office, she expected Strauss to start grilling her. Instead, the Section Chief of the BAU said," We have a request for you to work with INTERPOL."

"Absolutely not, ma'am."

"It isn't open for debate, Agent Prentiss."

"You're right, because I'm not working with them again."

"Not in the field, anyway," Hotch said.

"What?"

"Prentiss, we will be consulting with them. I'm pulling your other consults. You and Reid will be working on this for the next few weeks. JJ will coordinate with you and INTERPOL. You can do it from here."

"Reid?"

"Dave will take over supervising Seaver for now. In the meantime, you two are working on this full time. No other cases, not even to travel."

"But Hotch," Emily started to say, but Strauss cut her off.

"This is non-negotiable. Agent Hotchner and I spent the last few days arranging this. INTERPOL needs our help, and that is the only reason I'm not holding a disciplinary hearing for your recent actions."

Then Erin Strauss walked out of the office. Emily looked over at Hotch.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I told you in the hospital, I understand. I understand why you couldn't tell us and what you were trying to do. Now, I also understand why you didn't want to work on that team anymore. I promise, if it comes to field work with them, you will not be alone with them. We will have your back."

"What did you have to do with Strauss?"

"Sometimes, it's good to have friends at the State Department."

"State or Homeland Security?"

Hotch smiled. "JJ's a little vague on that. Since she's able to keep Strauss in check, I'm not worrying about it. I'm glad you're back. "

When Emily sat back at her desk, she looked around and realized someone was missing.

"Where's Reid?"

"I think Hotch said he was using some sick leave today," Seaver said. "Hotch also said you need to go over your consults with me."

By mid-afternoon, Emily had left two voice mails on Reid's phone. She couldn't help but think somehow he was getting back at her for going off and handle Doyle by herself. She was calling Reid one more time when Garcia walked to her desk.

"Are you calling Reid, again?" Garcia asked.

Emily sighed,"It really isn't any of your concern, PG."

"Oh no you don't. You do not get to say that to me Emily Prentiss. Not for a very long time. If if was up to me you would be chained to that desk for the next six months."

"Oh God PG, I'm sorry."

"That is not good enough for me. You could have died. Doyle could have killed you." Garcia's face softened. "I know you were doing the right thing, but next time you need to let us help you. Because seriously, you could have died."

"I almost did." Emily said.

Garcia's eyes almost bulged out of her face. "Don't tell me things like that. So, why do you keep calling Reid?"

"How do you know I keep calling Reid?"

"Because while Hotch won't let me have you chained up or followed, he can't stop me from tying into the surveillance cameras. And I can monitor what numbers you dial on your cell phone in my sleep."

"You are a frightening woman sometimes."

"Nice try on changing the subject. Is there something going on between you and Reid? Because in Boston, after Morgan left with the tactical team, Reid vanished. He won't tell anyone what he was thinking or why was on the scene. So what's going on?"

"Not here." Emily stood up and walked back to Garcia's office. Garcia just stood there for a moment, then she followed Emily. Once there were inside Garcia's office, Emily shut the door.

"What's going on?"

"The night I knew Doyle was coming for me, when I had confirmation he knew where I lived, Reid asked me to go to a movie."

"He asked you out?"

"No. Not like that. At least I don't think so. But you know what, if it wasn't for Doyle, I would have said yes. I don't what would have happened, but I would have liked to see what could have happened."

"Oh, Em,"Garcia said.

"Then, after I killed Doyle, I was just so tired. I just wanted to sleep. I heard Morgan saying something to me. Telling me to hang on, and I tried. But I was just so tired. I just wanted to rest. Then I heard something I never thought I would ever hear."

"What's that?"

"Spencer Reid praying to God."

Garcia let out a small laugh. "Oh Em." Then she engulfed Emily in a giant bear hug.

Part-way through the hug, Emily said,"PG, I'm still a little fragile."

"Tough."

When Garcia finally released her, she asked Emily,"do you want to track him down?"

"No. Give him his privacy."

"So why do you keep calling him?"

"In the ambulance, I told him he owed me a movie."

Garcia squealed with joy.

Later that evening, Reid called Emily.

"Where have you been? I've been calling you all day."

"I know. I see I have 5 missed calls from you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I came back today and they said you were on leave and ... why were you on leave? And why wouldn't you answer the phone?"

"I left my phone in the car. I wasn't going to be able to use where I was."

"Which was where?"

There was dead silence for a moment. Then Reid said, "John Hopkins."

"The hospital?"

"Yeah. On the flight back from Boston, I got a call from someone there. There was a study going on, and they could fit me in. You know, and maybe help me with my headaches."

"Did you have some more?"

"Off and on. Any way, they were giving me tests all day."

"How bad is it?"

"It's not that bad."

"Reid, don' lie to me."

"I don't how bad it is. Every doctor I go to can't find anything physically wrong with me. They all think it's psychosomatic. I keep telling them I know the signs of mental disease."

"It doesn't have to mental disease to be psychosomatic."

"You're going to tell me what psychosomatic means?"

"Yes. Reid, the truth is the past few days I've been looking forward to seeing you. You didn't forget. About the movie."

"No. I didn't forget. I just figured you might want some time alone first. You know, after what happened."

"Reid, I've had about as much alone time as I can take. I'm ready to spend time with...I promise not to grill you about your headaches or treat you any differently than I ever have."

"Thanks. Look, I'm sorry. I'm just really tired right now. Can we talk some more tomorrow? At work?"

"Sure. I'd like that."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene from 2007 is actually a paraphrasing of a deleted scene from Season 2. It is, however, one of my favorirte scene of all times. I was originally going to use it as a springboard for a longer fic. I decided to use it for this story instead.

_The BAU Jet_

_2007_

The case was over, and everyone was unwinding. Morgan and Reid were playing gin, when Emily walked by. She dropped her book on the table in front of Morgan.

"Whoops. Sorry" she said with a smile on her face. It was a Kurt Vonnegut book.

Morgan smiled back at her. "No you didn't. Where did you find this?"

"Back at the airport. Can you believe it?"

"That's great. Chapter 3 is when it starts to get good."

"All right. I'll let you know." She picked the book up, still smiling, and sat down.

Reid looked at Emily, now reading her book, then he looked at Morgan with a knowing smile on his face.

"What?" Morgan said," you think you're the only one who reads."

"You never want to talk to me about books," Reid winked.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Well, the two of you have been sitting next to each other at the round table and I've noticed she's been hanging out at your desk a lot lately. And if I notice it, then it must be pretty obvious." Then Reid took a card off the pile.

"You know," Morgan said," normally I'd say you have a real good point there. But she's not the kind of girl who's interested in Derek Morgan."

"What kind of girl isn't interested in Derek Morgan?" said Reid, seemingly surprised such a female could exist.

"One who's too smart to think she can change my ways. Everyone knows I'm not ready to get serious."

"Maybe you're more ready than you know."

"Are you really going to school me on girls?"

Well," Reid said with a conspiratorial smile,"my mother said some girls, the right kind of girls, can tell when you're ready to change and come to you. But it's only when you're ready."

Morgan shook his head. He grabbed a card off the pile. "Are you telling me I'm off my game, Dr. Reid?"

"No, I'm trying to distract you so you don't take this card." Reid grabbed a the card lying face up on the discard pile. Then he laid his hand down and said,"gin."

"You sneaky SOB." Morgan said.

"I keep telling you people, never play cards with a magician."

"What do you mean, you people?"

Both Reid and Morgan laughed.

What neither Derek Morgan nor Spencer Reid realized was that their interchanged didn't go unwitnessed. Behind her book, Emily Prentiss smiled. Those two provided her with all kinds of entertainment just then. Morgan was the more confident and outgoing of the two. It was easier to flirt with him.

Dr. Reid, on the other, was far more interesting. He was a unique series of contradictions. He was extremely intelligent with a far-ranging knowledge, with glaring spots of ignorance on pop-culture. He was an expert on reading facial expressions and body language, but clueless when people were flirting. He was an extreme nerd, socially awkward but handsome and charming in his own way.

If Emily Prentiss was the kind to date a co-worker, she might have a tough time choosing between these two. But she didn't do that, so there was no choice to be made.

She did allow herself one sidelong glance at Dr. Reid, though. He's tricky, and that could be a lot of fun. Maybe it would be worth it?

She chose the safer course, and stayed true to her rule on not dating co-workers.

_March 2011_

When Emily Prentiss got up, she was humming as she got dressed and ready for work. She hadn't hummed since Sean McAllister told her Doyle escaped. Last night was the first time she didn't dream about Doyle even a little. Her team was safe. She was safe. She was back with her team, her real team. She wasn't going to go through a Strauss inquisition. The only thing she needed to make things better was to see Spencer Reid today. The few days after the ambulance, she mostly slept in the hospital room. By the time her body had recovered from her ordeal, the team had gone back to DC. So, she really hadn't spoken to Reid since then.

As she drove to work, she chided herself. "It's no big deal, Emily. It's just another day at work. It's just Reid." She didn't really know why she was looking forward to seeing him.

Sure you do Emily. You know exactly why. But guess what, he probably doesn't feel the same way.

* * *

Emily was partly correct. He wasn't really looking forward to seeing her.

If he had his preference, Spencer Reid wouldn't be around anyone for a few days. He had been poked and prodded at the hospital. So far, they found the same things every other health care facility found. Nothing. No physical sign or anything to explain his headaches.

But that wasn't why he didn't want to be around anyone. Everyone wanted to know why he left the office in Boston to go to the warehouse. How did he know to have an ambulance there? The truth is, he didn't know. There he was at the office an all of a sudden, it hit him. He had to go. He told JJ and Garcia where he was going and he called an ambulance on the way. He didn't know why he did it, he just did it. The need to do it was even more powerful than the cravings for dialud once were.

He didn't understand what had happened, and that bothered him. What surprised him even more was that he started praying over Emily. What had prompted him to do that? He had never prayed before. He never sought solace in any form of religion. He didn't know what had prompted any of his recent behavior.

Emily.

He was nervous. She was different in the ambulance and at the hospital. She smiled at him. She looked at him like she had never looked at him before.

It was euphoria, he told himself. She survived Doyle. She was alive. That's all it was. It had absolutely nothing to do with him. Nothing.

So why was she so adamant about that movie?

That morning it was a strange briefing. What made it particularly strange was that the team had a case.

When they finished talking about it in the conference room, Hotch said,"Wheels up in 20 minutes."

As Reid and Prentiss stood up, Hotch added," Not for you two."

"Hotch," Reid began,"it's bad. You need as many people there as possible."

"They're all bad. We'll be fine. If I think we need your input, Garcia will get you. Remember, you're working on the project for INTERPOL. Give JJ a call and she'll get you started."

It was strange to be at the office when the team was on the road. Later that day, when Reid and Prentiss were ready to go home, they checked in with Garcia first.

"Go, be free, "she said. "If we need you, I promise to summon you. Otherwise, I'm strict orders not to give anything that JJ doesn't send over."

Reid and Emily walking to the parking lot together.

"We never talked about the movie." Emily said.

"It feels strange to go to a movie, when the teams on a case." Reid said.

"Then when they get back? Or on the weekend?"

"Why are you adamant about this? I don't understand."

"You don't understand? I mean, you really don't understand? Three PhDs, and IQ of 187, over six years as a profiler and you don't know why I'm so adamant about seeing a movie with you?"

"No, I don't. If I've learned anything from the last few weeks, it's that I know very little about you, Emily. I never knew what you did before you joined the team. And I never suspected something was wrong."

"Yes you did. You noticed I was biting my nails."

"It's not the same."

"You want to know why I'm so adamant about the movie? Because I didn't see Solaris with you."

"It's not a big deal."

"To you it's not a big deal. To me it is. Reid, if I wasn't dealing with Doyle at the time, I would have said yes. You told it would be just you and me. Who knows what would have happened."

"Emily, it was just a movie."

"Was it? You just called me to ask if I wanted to go, when you never ask me to do anything with you? What about the ambulance?"

"What about it?"

"That was the first time in your life you ever prayed, wasn't it?"

"Yes it was. What does that have to do with anything."

"Because you like me Dr. Reid. I know it. For some time, I thought you might. Now I know it." Emily was saying this with a confidence she didn't have about his feelings. But she was certain this was the best way to move things forward.

"Emily, it's not that. I was just ...I was there because I was afraid I wasn't going to get to say good-bye."

"Are you sure? Think about it for a moment Spencer? Are you saying you don't like me? Are you saying you don't have any stronger feelings for me than friendship?"

In that moment, three definitions for climax came to Spencer Reid's mind at this moment. The first had to do with sex. The other two had to do with drama. Aristotle said the climax was the point of highest tension in a story. Reid had learned another one, this one from a screen writer he met on a case. The climax, the writer told him, was that moment afterwords nothing can go back to how it was at the beginning of the story.

Reid could tell Emily he didn't feel any attraction. He knew if he said that she would say she didn't feel any attraction to him either. They would stay the way they were right now. Things would stay the same. But if he told her he was attracted…

Things could never be the same. She might reject him,, but she might she might not. She might tell him that she felt something, something real. He wouldn't know unless he said the words. It was a risk, but as a native of Las Vegas, he knew something about gambling. The odds in Vegas were always with the house. Unless, at just the right moment you went all in. Then you took the house.

Reid didn't know if this was the right moment. If he went all in, what he could lose was profound. But what he could win…

He had a moment where he imagined Emily Prentiss embracing him. Was that worth the risk?

"Well, Emily …" he stopped. She thought she liked him right now, because of what she had just survived. But that wouldn't last. He knew that. He believed that. It never did with women and him.

"Reid, look at me. Are you saying you don't have any feeling towards beyond friendship. Are you honestly going to say that you don't feel anything right now?"

Reid intended to explain to her exactly what she was feeling, that it was euphoria. That what she was feeling wasn't real. That's what he intended to say. What he actually said was,"I've spent my life liking women more than they like me. Of course I like you. Of course I want more than this. Of course I'm afraid to say anything Emily. I ...I don't know what to do once you know you like a woman."

Emily smiled. "Let me help you out with that." Her hands touched his cheeks and she kissed him.


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours later, Reid and Emily were at her apartment. They had gotten Chinese takeout on the way and were now snuggling on Emily's couch watching "The Blind Side" with Sandra Bullock. Emily's cat Sergio, was nestled on a nearby chair. Every so often, Sergio would open an eye and peek on them.

"When you said a movie, I thought you meant go out to a theater," Reid said.

"I did. We'll do that next time. I like this though."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I get to eat something besides popcorn while I watch the movie, the seating is more comfortable than a theater, and we can pause the DVD if we need to pause."

"You mean if we need to go to the bathroom?"

"Well, yes, that and of course this," Emily kissed him. It was a slow, tender kiss that lasted a little longer than she had intended. When it was over Emily said, "Maybe we should take a break from the movie." Before Reid could say something, Emily hit the stop button on the remote, and started kissing him again. She leaned forward and he leaned back. Her arms wrapped around his torso, while he began to run his fingers through her hair.

Then one of their cellphones rang. Reid grabbed it, "Hello?"

"Reid?" it was Garcia's voice,"why are you answering Emily's phone?"

"Uh ….Hold on." He held it out for Emily,"it's for you."

Emily smiled, but managed not to laugh. "Yes?"

"Emily, why is Reid answering your phone?"

"We're just sitting tight waiting for you to call us, and he was so excited that you're calling he answered instead of me."

Garcia laughed. "Yeah, okay. Hotch says they need a little help. Can you guys come into the office? I'll have what you need set up in the conference room."

"We'll be right there."

When she hung up Reid looked at her aghast. "Are you kidding me?"

"The look on your face is so precious."

"You think that was a good answer?"

"Reid, it's PG. She's dating Hotch. I don't think she's going to do much more than rib us about it." Then she got a haunted look in her eyes,"What's the matter? Are you ashamed of me?"

Reid sighed. "No ...it's not that. Emily no I was just..." Reid kept trying to stammer an answer, when Emily suddenly smiled and started laughing.

Reid stopped, and stared at her with both eyebrows raised.

"I'm sorry Spencer," Emily said. "That was just too funny." She kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You really are just too precious for words sometimes. Do you know that?"

"I'm glad I can be a source of amusement for you, Emily."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"We need to go. The team is across the country and they need our input, remember?"

"Are you pissed right now?"

"No. I would just like the embarrassing moment to be over. Can we just get to work so the moment can pass?"

"Sure."

Reid drove. On the way to the BAU he said,"you are really a crazy woman, sometimes, you know that."

"Would you really want me to be other way?"

He seemed to be considering it. "No, I suppose not." He shook his head a little bit. "I'm just glad to see you laugh and smile."

"I think I'm going to try to do a lot of that."

When they got to the BAU offices, Garcia greeted them with a mischievous look. "So, Boy-genius was excited? Because I was calling or was it his company?"

"What doe Hotch need us to do?" Reid said, doing his best to ignore Garcia's question.

"Oh no you don't. What's the real reason you two were together tonight?"

Reid sighed. Garcia had the look in her eye that communicated to him that she wasn't going to let this go.

"We went to a prayer meeting."

"Is that what they're calling it now?"

"PG, maybe you and Reid can talk about his conversion to Islam later. What does Hotch need?"

"Well, the thing is..." then Garcia stopped at looked at Emily. "Excuse me, did you say Islam?"

Reid looked at Emily. He almost missed the wink. He looked back at Garcia. "Is something wrong?"

"Islam?"

"This is why the only one I told was Emily. She's not so judgmental. Garcia, the case."

Garcia looked over at Emily. She saw her friend smiling. "Oh, you two are so busted."

Emily let out a laugh. "We were just having dinner, PG, that's all. Why don't you tell us what Hotch needs."

"It's not nice to fool with mama."

After about four hours of work and teleconferencing with the team, they broke for the night. Emily went to look at the files on her desk. Reid was going over something in the conference room.

Garcia walked up to Emily at her desk. "Are you ever going to tell me what you two were doing?"

"PG, what does it matter?"

"You cannot leave me hanging there. I have an image of the two of you, all tangled up when the cellphone rang."

"Well, I'd hate to ruin that image."

"What are you saying?"

"We had Chinese take out at my place. We were just talking. We put our cellphones on the table and, it turns out, we have the same ring tone. That's all."

"That is so boring."

Emily smiled. "He's easy to talk to. Anyway, just because people spend time together doesn't mean they're having a romance. Just because that's what you're doing."

"All right. Just promise me if you two start getting like that you'll tell me."

"I promise, I will share my joy with you when it's time. In the meantime, take it easy on poor Reid. You how much of a gentleman he is."

"Just one thing, Ems," Garcia said.

"Yeah?"

"Islam?"

"The look on your face was priceless. It was between that or Buddhism."

Garcia light out a slight chuckle and shook her head.

Emily made her way back to the conference room. Reid was still going over the case.

"Reid, are you going to work on this all night?"

"No, not really. I just want to make sure I'm not missing something."

"Well, you can relax about Garcia. I told you her we were just having a casual dinner."

"Why? That wasn't exactly what was happening. I mean, I thought it was something …"

"It is. But I thought about it. PG will tell Morgan, and he will not shut up about it. And that will be ...irritating. This isn't just something to do Reid. It isn't an impulse or because you saved my life."

"I didn't save your life."

"Like hell you didn't. I just wanted to go to sleep let it all end. Until I heard you praying over me. You saved my life. But that's not what this is about."

"Then what is it about?"

"I spent too much playing by a set of rules. And to be honest, some of them don't make sense to me anymore. You're you, so maybe you'll remember. At the end of one case, you and Morgan were playing cards. I was new, and you were teasing Morgan about flirting with me. Apparently just so he wouldn't get the card you needed to win."

"Wait a minute, I remember that. How did you know? You were reading."

"Haven't you learned yet, I'm a trained intelligence operative. I can appear to be reading when I'm listening to a conversation. I'll tell you something Spencer Reid, that was sexy you playing Morgan like that."

"That?"

Emily smiled. "What can I say, Spencer Reid, I've always found you interesting. I've been thinking about this for years. Anyway, I'm ready to go home. Since we rode together, could you give me a ride back to my place?"

"Did you want to finish the movie?"

"Aren't you tired?"

He shrugged. "It takes me a while to go to sleep sometimes. Besides, I might need helped finding Mecca."

"Mecca?"

"When I pray. I'm converting, remember?" He said with a slight smile on his face.

Emile smiled back at him. "Like I said, you're interesting."


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer and Emily were back on her couch. They saw the end of the movie. Reid had thought about going home and getting some sleep. The trouble with that plan, however, was it meant he was going to get up from Emily's couch. They were both laying on the couch, and it felt very comfortable and relaxing. The truth is he liked that her body was so close to his. He liked he was laying on her couch, laying next to her and touching her face.

He started touching her face, but his hand was slowly moving down her body. As it did, his fingers gently moved in intricate patterns on her. First her cheek, then her throat, then further down. He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing. He just kept looking at her those deep, expressive, soulful eyes of hers.

Emily was convinced she would purr right now if she was a cat. Reid was laying on top of her, and he felt very comfortable. He would kiss her lightly on the lips every so often. His hand was moving slowly and gently over her skin. It was a light, subtle caressing touch that felt good. She thought about other men she had been with. Most, in this situation, would be kissing her and removing clothing. Most would see the end of the movie as their cue for sex. Reid, thought, seemed more comfortable doing this. Perhaps he just wasn't certain what to do. Perhaps he was still testing the waters of what she would be comfortable with. Perhaps …

It didn't really matter to her. This was nice. Then she felt his hand creep up under her shirt and caress her torso. She rather enjoyed it. Then, his hand lightly touched her belly. In fact, his fingers touched the scar that was left behind by the piece of wood Ian Doyle stabbed her with. She winced involuntarily, not so much from pain but the memory of Doyle.

Reid's hand vacated her body. He both felt and heard her wince, and seemed to take it as a cue to stop.

"Don't stop. It feels good." She said gently.

"But it hurts when I touch it, doesn't it?"

"It looks worse than it is."

"That's the exact same words you used in Colorado. When Ben Cyrus dragged you into that closet and beat you."

"I remember. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. Not really. I just wasn't expecting you to touch it, but it's fine."

"Do you think about Cyrus? Do you think about that beating?"

"No. Not really."

"Did anyone ever beat you like that before?"

"I've been in fights before. But no one ever beat me. If I wasn't worried about the women and children I would have fought back."

"Did Doyle ever beat you like that?"

She was quiet for a moment. "No. You wouldn't believe it, but he was actually very gentle. He didn't direct his violence at people he cared about."

"I see." His voice seemed distant.

"Don't read anything into that. I seduced him, because that's what I was supposed to do it doesn't mean I felt about him...I mean"

"It's okay Emily. I just ...It's okay." Then he looked into her eyes. His hand cupped around her cheek. "You're very beautiful, you know?"

"Thank you. So are you."

He shook his head. "Seriously, does it hurt when I touch the scar?" His hand gently touched it.

"No. It's just,,,a little tender." She was trying not to wince, but her body was not following the directive of her mind.

"Then I don't think I should touch it."

She sensed he was going to get up and leave, and she didn't want that. She liked the moment they were having until he touched the scar. Her mind raced, trying to think what she could do to get him to stay. Then, he got on his knees on the floor, and moved her around so she was facing him. He lifted her shirt up a little above the wound. Then he kissed around it, being careful not to touch the scar.

He paused just long enough to undo her jeans. Then he took them off her, and her underwear as well. Then he put his mouth up close to her pussy. The action surprised her, so she said,"What are you doing?" Her tone was mix of curiosity and surprise. It came out a little harsher than she would like.

He seemed to ignore it altogether. Then she felt his tongue lick the seam where her pussy lips came together. It was an electric feeling that caused her to let out a little gasp. Then his tongue ran along the seam a few more times. Then she felt his tongue enter her, and it began to slowly explore her insides, and she let out a gentle moan as he did. Then his mouth moved up to her clitoris and sucked hard on it. Emily let out a loud cry and locked her legs around his head. He moved his head closer and deeper into her womanhood. The slow gentle Reid was gone, as he licked and and sucked on Emily's sex with such ferocity that she climaxed after a few minutes.

Afterwords she released him from her legs. He looked up at her.

"You sneaky little bastard," she said.

"What?"

"This whole time you made us, all of us, think you've never been with a woman. But you've done this before, haven't you? I don't mean just one or either. How many women have you been with? You don't know what to do when you know you like a woman? Bullshit. You sneaky …." She was pointed a finger at him. He just smiled.

"Really Emily, there may have been on or two women but usually they initiated it."

"Don't give me that. That was ...no one has ever gotten me off like that."

"It's not that all hard, it's all just a matter of math."

"Math?"

"Well, math and physics."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Whether you believe it or not is up to you."

Emily shook her head. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

"Here? I don't have any bed clothes. I didn't bring a go bag or anything."

"I'm not proposing sleep just now. What's the matter? Are you feeling shy all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. It's just, if you're proposing what I think you're proposing well ..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't have ...protection."

Emily let out a little laugh.

"It's all right. I do. Come on, I'll show you."

So it was that in one night, Reid and Emily had their first kiss, watched their first movie together, helped the team with a case, and shared a bed for the first time.


	6. Chapter 6

Emily was feeling good. It was the weekend, there were no cases to work on, and Spencer was spending the weekend with her. It felt good. It felt happy. She was in her kitchen making coffee when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Spencer said.

She heard him open the door then she heard three shots ring out. She ran to the door, and saw Spencer laying on the floor, clutching onto the sucking chest wound the three shots had caused. Standing over him was Ian Doyle.

"No," she cried out,"you're dead."

"Did you think it would be that easy? Did you actually think you would win? Did you actually think I would ever let you find happiness?" He looked down at the now dead Spencer Reid. "He is so fragile, isn't he?"

Emily let out a shout of pain and misery, which is when she woke up.

She was in her bedroom. She looked around. She was alone in her bed. She knew it was just a dream, but she couldn't shake the feeling of dread. She grabbed her cellphone and dialed Reid's number. It rang a few times then went to voice mail.

"Spencer, it's Emily. When you get this message, call me."

She waited a few minutes and then she called again. This time Reid picked up.

"Hello?" he said, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Spencer, it's Emily. Are you all right?"

"I guess. I was asleep. Why?"

"It's...I had a dream where Ian Doyle killed you."

"Emily, Ian Doyle's dead. You killed him, remember?"

"I know. I know it doesn't make sense, it's just... I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm fine now. I don't know why I dreamt that. And don't you dare say anything about a part of me not thinking I deserve to be happy."

"Emily, you know I don't put a lot of stock in dream analysis. But if I did, I might think it could have something to do with the fact that I'm going to be away for a couple of days."

"That would be pathetic."

"It could also just be a dream with no more meaning than randomly firing sensors in your brain."

"You are doing a terrible job of comforting me right now."

"Emily, I'm alive. Doyle's dead. I'm only going to John Hopkins. I won't be at work but I'll be home tomorrow evening. Everything is fine."

"That's a little better."

"Only a little?"

"If you came over and held me, that would be much better."

"Except holding you usually leads to other things, and I need to get up in," he paused to look at his clock,"2 hours."

"I'm not saying it wouldn't be a sacrifice on your part."

"I promise to make it up to you later."

"I'm holding you to that Spencer Reid."

Several hours later at the BAU offices, Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan were in the break room at the same time.

"So, where's Reid?" Morgan asked.

"He's on leave."

"I know he's on leave, princess, but where is he spending his leave?"

"That's really none of your business, Derek."

"So you two really are dating."

"Excuse me?"

Morgan shook his head as he smiled. "You can't fool me, princess. The two of you are spending more time with each other. When I ask Penelope how you two are doing she blushes."

"Maybe she's having sexual fantasies about us."

"She never blushes about her fantasies. Besides, she only has eyes for Hotch these days."

"That doesn't prove anything about me and Reid."

"Except normally you would say you don't know where he is, not that it isn't any of my business. That means you know where he is and don't want me to know."

"If he wanted you to know, he'd tell you."

"So, you're worrying about what he wants, which proves my point further."

"Leave it alone Morgan." She turned to leave the break room.

"So you're not worried?"

"About what?"

"About what he feels."

"If we were dating, and I'm not saying we are, he would be open about how he feels."

Morgan shook his head. "Come on, Emily, you know better than that."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how he grew up and how he is with women."

"What are you saying?"

"So if you are dating him..."

"And I'm not saying that I am."

"Then you have to know he's expecting it's going to end."

"No he's not."

"Princess, it doesn't matter what you tell him, he's going to believe it's going to end. Because he doesn't believe it's real."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do. He isn't going to believe that it's real."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Because it happened after a life and death experience, after you had a bad time. And he's ... never had anyone interested in him for long."

"What are you trying to say, Morgan?"

"If it's just that, something to do after you had a bad time, then enjoy it."

"And if it's not," she almost growled.

"Then you need to know it's not going to be easy. He's not going to believe you want to be with him."

"If I was with him, I would tell him I wanted to be with him."

"I know you would. That doesn't mean he would believe you. He may say he does, but he won't. Not at first, anyway. It will take time."

"For what?"

"For him to believe."

"You don't think that much him, do you?"

"C'mon Prentiss, you know better than that. We both know how special he is. What I'm talking about is how he sees himself. You and I both know how we see ourselves starts when we're kids. And knowing how he grew up, with everyone making him feel like he was a freak. And we both know sometimes he still feels that way."

"He's not a freak."

"I didn't say he was. I said he feels that way. And no one can make that feeling go away quickly. And that's what you need to realize. At least, if you're dating Reid, you do."

Then Morgan left.

* * *

Meanwhile, at John Hopkins, Reid was sitting in the office with one of the doctors.

"So," the doctor said,"when was the last time you had a headache, Dr. Reid?"

"Three weeks and four days ago."

"Really?" the doctor sounded surprised. "So, you haven't had one since that last time you were here?"

Reid thought about it for a moment. "That's right."

"And before that, how often did you have them?"

"Every few days. Sometimes sooner."

"Are you taking any preventative medication?"

"No. The only medication I'm taking is Tylenol after the headache begins."

"Have you made any dietary changes?"

"No."

"Have there been any lifestyle changes since the last time you were here?"

"Just one."

"What's that?"

"I've uh...," Reid paused, trying to think the best way to phrase the answer,"I've started a ...social relationship."

"Social?"

"Romantic, I mean."

"A romantic relationship? Is it sexual as well?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm." The doctor made a few notes.

"Do you think that's why I haven't had anymore headaches."

"It's a little soon to tell Dr. Reid, but we did wonder if you headaches had a psychosomatic component to them. We'll have to see what happens."

"I guess so."


	7. Chapter 7

Emily kept thinking about what Morgan said, and came to a simple conclusion: Morgan was wrong.

He had to be wrong. She kept telling herself that the rest of the day, and she wanted to believe it. Spencer knew how she felt about him. He knew she didn't think of him as a freak. He knew she was in this for the long haul. Of course he knew it. Why wouldn't he know it?

_Because you never indicated you had these kind of feelings before. Because it was only after Doyle that you acted on any of it._

She tried to push those thoughts out of her head. It wasn't easy and by the end of the day, she was wondering why she started seeing Reid.

_Because he kissed you._

Actually, I kissed him.

_Because you like him. Because you've always liked him._

Did I? And if I did, does he know that? How do I tell him that? How do I know if Morgan is even a little bit right? For the first time since she woke up in the ambulance, Emily felt conflicted.

* * *

The next evening, Reid was driving home from John Hopkins thinking about what he had discussed with the doctors. As part of the study, they would be doing a full barrage of testing every few months to track his progress. What really surprised him was that he really hadn't had any headaches in the last few weeks.

Was it possible that his new relationship with Emily was the reason? Was the original cause of the headaches some form of depression? Or was the cessation of headaches a mere coincidence? He wouldn't know for certain for a few months, of that he was certain. He had talked with Emily last night, and arranged to met her at her place after he got back.

Something seemed off with her, he thought. Something in her tone. He wondered what was wrong? Was her nightmare still bothering her? Should he have gone over that morning? Or was it something else?

_Like she's coming to her senses?_

He tried to ignore the negative thought.

_But you know the odds of this lasting are a million to 1._

He sighed. He was really surprised when she first kissed him. That any woman, let alone her, would think of him that way came as a surprise. It happened before, but it never lasted long. It was usually curiosity on their part, regarding someone like him. It never lasted. While it did, it was fun. Confusing, usually, but fun.

This was different, though. Because it wasn't with someone who didn't know him well before. It was Emily. Emily understood him.

Right?

A few hours later, he was in Emily's apartment having dinner, she made lasagna and salad.

"So, how did it go?" she asked.

"Well, something interesting came to light."

"Oh?"

"I haven't had any headaches since the last time I went."

"That's good."

"Maybe."

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"Well, it's a little soon to know if it means anything. I'll be back in a few weeks and we can continue to chart the course."

"Did they have any explanation. I mean, are they giving you any treatments?"

"No, it isn't that kind of a study. The test group I'm in a diverse group of patients who have headaches with no visible cause. We're charted over time with an intense barrage of tests done each time. There are really only two things that have changed since the last time I went that might contribute to the headaches."

"Which are?"

"First of all, I haven't been on a case with the team since the last time."

"And the other thing?"

"You. Well, you and me, anyway."

"So, you haven't had a headache since we started dating?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "That's sweet."

"It's not sweet. It's just an observation, and it's one of two changes that might have an impact, but there's no certainty either one of them has anything to do with my headaches."

"I see." Reid missed the significance of the tone of her voice.

They were both quiet for a few moments, then Emily broke the silence. "Morgan talked to me yesterday."

"Yeah?"

"He suspects. About us, I mean."

"I see." He said it in a quiet voice. In his mind, he latched onto her use of the word 'suspects'. A word that might imply there was something illegal or sordid about their relationship. If he hadn't focused on that word, and if he had recognized the tone of her voice, the turmoil that came next would have been avoided. Instead, he said," It's okay. I understand."

"Understand? Understand what?" She was confused.

"What happens next. When you say we've never talked about it. About the team finding out or how we might tell them. Or if we would ever tell them."

"Well, PG knows. I mean, she hasn't really talked to me about it, but I know she knows. We haven't been working with the team very closely these last few weeks, so it hasn't been an issue. And we haven't had any serious discussions about us. It's just when I talked with Morgan, I realized we should. I mean, about the team. I didn't confirm anything, so it's fine for right now, but still ..."

"It's okay, Emily. I understand."

"What do you mean, you understand?"

"The next part. It's okay."

"What the hell are you saying?"

"It's okay that it's over."

"I didn't say that."

"You don't have to. I know the signs, and it's fine."

"The signs? What are you talking about?"

"It's what usually happens, with me and women. I mean ..."

"Stop talking."

"No, Emily, it's fine. I mean "

"Spencer, shut up. Do not talk. Not until I tell you again." She stood up from the table and walked away for a moment. She looked towards the kitchen, but seemed like she wasn't certain if she wanted to go in. Then she looked Spencer.

"Emily," he began.

"I didn't say to talk. I didn't say you could speak. I ... this is what he told me. That you were expecting this. I didn't believe him."

"Morgan?"

"No, the fucking Easter Bunny!"

Reid's brow furrowed in perplexity. "The Easter Bunny? Emily, I don't"

"Yes, Morgan. You idiot. You weren't supposed to prove him right. You were supposed to ..." she was pointing at him and shaking with rage.

He had never seen her this angry. He knew that somehow he did this. What escaped him, at the moment, was how to fix it. His mind was racing to figuring something out, but in that moment, he couldn't think. It was as if someone turned off his brain. He just stood there, trying to speak, but nothing came out.

Then Emily grabbed him to her and kiss him hard. This wasn't the usual tender kiss they usually shared. It was hard and rough. "You're a son of bitch,"she said. "I was happy. I was looking forward to time with you. You owe me that. You fucking owe me ..."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I don't know what you think you're doing, but I don't owe it to you. I'm sorry. I made you mad, and I'm sorry. But we're not doing this now. This ... We'll talk later, but I better go."

He turned around and walked away.

Emily stood there, in shock.


	8. Chapter 8

Reid didn't go home. Instead his car found his way to a local church, where a meeting of Beltway Clean Cops was going on. Reid's attendance was a little spotty lately, since he started seeing Emily. Actually, his attendance had always been sporadic. But ever since he started seeing Emily not only did he not have any headaches, he didn't have any cravings for dialud.

Right now, though, he felt a craving. He wanted something, anything, that could deaden the pain of tonight. He sat in his car for 10 minutes willing the pain to go away. Then he tried to will the events of tonight to not have happened. He tried with all his might to convince himself it was all a dream. He attempted this strategy before, convincing himself something didn't happen.

The first time was when he was 10, and his father left. It didn't work. Just like it didn't change the fact that Gideon left or the he was a drug addict. He sighed. Then he got out of his car and walked into the meeting.

* * *

Emily Prentiss's initial reaction to Reid walking out of her apartment was to curse at the man who wasn't there. She cursed with such vehemence that she roused her cat, Sergio, from his slumber. He looked at her, realized she wanted a fight, and obliged her by hissing.

"Shut up! Don't you dare take his side! You're my cat!"

He gave her a look of absolute disgust and disdain as only cats can give.

She huffed and flung herself into one of the comfortable chairs in the living room. Sergio leaped onto her lap.

"Go away," she said.

Sergio said," Mao."

"Leave me alone," she said in a weary tone.

Sergio touched his nose to her cheek and again said,"Mao."

"You never give up, do you?"

"Mao."

Emily started to pat his head, at which point he started to purr. It is a fact that almost no one, certain no cat owner, can stay angry while stroking a purring cat.

"I screwed it up." Emily said. "And I don't know how to fix it."

Sergio leveled a look of feline incredulity.

"Don't give me that look. I can't fix it."

Sergio suddenly leaped off her lap and settled on the couch.

"Hey," she said. "What am I supposed to do?"

Sergio shot her another look of disgust, then he started bathing himself.

"Thanks," she said. She sighed and started to clean up dinner as she contemplated how she was going to fix her relationship with Spencer. Or if it was even possible.

* * *

At the Beltway Clean Cops meeting, Reid walked up to the podium. He didn't offer sharing in front of the group very often. He found talking one on one with his sponsor more helpful. However, sometimes, the only way to help with the craving was to talk at a meeting. So, he walked up to the podium and began to talk.

"I don't really like doing this," he said,"I don't like standing up here and sharing. There are times, however, when I need to. Because there are times when the cravings of addiction are so strong, this is the only way to make them stop. Most of the time, I'm in control. I can keep them at bay. Every once in a while, though, I am powerless. So, here I am, admitting my powerlessness. Because tonight I screwed things up huge with my girlfriend. And I don't know how to fix it. So, I just want something to make it feel better. So I'm here because I'm afraid I won't resist the craving. And I need to resist the craving. I just wish I knew how to fix things with my girlfriend."

After the meeting broke up, as Spencer was walking out, he saw a familiar face.

"Oscar," Spencer said, as a way of greeting his sponsor.

"It's been too long, Spencer. I was afraid there were so many killers in the world that you spending your nights in every city but this one. But I'm guessing you were doing something else with your nights than caching bad guys, huh?"

"Do you have a few moments" Spencer asked.

"Always."

A few minutes later the two men were sitting at a table in a coffee house. Reid told Oscar about how he had been seeing Emily the last few weeks and about what happened at dinner.

"Yeah," Oscar said,"you're right. You screwed up."

"So how how do I fix it?"

"I don't know. Why did you screw it up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to fix it? It might be a good idea to know why you screwed it up to begin with."

"I don't know why."

"Sure you do. You are one of the great minds of your generation and you analyze behavior for a living. You know exactly why you screwed up. You just need to be able to say it out loud before you can fix it."

"It's actually really hard to analyze your own behavior."

"That's crap. It's an excuse, and I don't buy it. So, try again."

"I just ... I thought she was going to break up with me."

"Why?"

"Because ..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, because ..."

"Say it Spencer."

"Because it's what happens to me with women. They date me for a while, then they get bored or it's inconvenient and they break up with me."

"And you think that's what happened?"

"It's inevitable."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because..." Reid tried to give Oscar but he realized he didn't know. He tried again,"because ..."

Oscar smiled sympathetically. "Because, deep down, you don't believe any woman could want to be with you. Because, deep down, you don't think you deserve it."

"Maybe I don't."

Oscar shook his head. "Oh Spencer. This is why you need to come to meetings."

"I don't understand."

"You think you don't deserve happiness, so you sabotage yourself. That's what happened. You jumped the gun, maybe because you were afraid she wasn't going to break up with you."

"What do you mean?"

"You have a pattern with women. It's what you know and it makes you feel comfortable. And maybe it was about to be broken."

"So what do I do?"

"Go fix it."

"How?"

"Well, usually when a man screws up with a woman, he apologizes."

"What if she doesn't forgive me?"

"Keep apologizing."

"What if," Reid started to ask.

"Spencer, you're a smart guy. And smart guys often think problems are complicated. But this is simple, you said the wrong thing, and you said because you're fulfilling a pattern. Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Have you told her that?"

"No. Tonight, at the meeting, was the first time I ever called her my girlfriend."

"Well, then maybe you should go talk to her about it."

"How?"

"Just talk."

"I might make things worse."

"That's true. Then again, you might make things better. Anyway, that's the best advice I can give you."

"I was really hoping...I don't what I was hoping for."

"An easy solution, I expect. There aren't any."

Reid smiled. "Of course not. Why would there be?"

Oscar stood up, and patted Reid on the shoulder,"Go and try to fix it. Let me know how it turns out and most importantly, come to the meetings. Good luck."

"Thanks."

Reid rehearsed what he was going to say to Emily over and over again on the drive over to her apartment. When he got there, though, he face a major obstacle. She wasn't home. He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell for 10 minutes, but there was no answer. He had to face the fact that she was gone. He contemplated calling her. Then he decided to accept defeat for the night.

He drove to his apartment. He was surprised when, sitting on his stoop, was Emily Prentiss.

"Emily, I ..."

She stood up and said. "I'm sorry, Spencer."


	9. Chapter 9

Spencer Reid stood on the front stoop of his place. Emily Prentiss stood in front of him, and said,"I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Reid said. "I'm the one who was wrong. You were telling me that Morgan suspects we're seeing each other. Instead of talking about it, I assumed you wanted to end things."

"You had a reason for that, didn't you? That's how it was with the other women, right?"

"You know about them?"

"Morgan said you've been with other women, but it never lasted long. He was right, wasn't he?"

Reid nodded, feeling his insides churn at the admission.

Emily looked at him, and immediately was moved to compassion. Admitting his failed romances seemed to be causing him physical pain. She did the only thing she could think to do, she hugged him in a tight embrace, holding his head close to hers. They stood in that embrace for what felt like a long time, not saying a word. It felt comforting to Reid, feeling her warmth against him. Somehow, though, it felt like they should be talking right now. It felt to him like there was something they had to do to undo the damage done to their relationship earlier that evening. The problem was that he didn't know what.

Finally, he said the only thing he could think to say. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yes."

They ended the embrace and entered Reid's apartment.

One of the first thing Emily noticed was the electronic piano keyboard in the corner. It was laying on a black metal stand, a small bench in front of it. To one side of it was a stack of sheet music and music books.

"I thought you didn't play," she said, pointing to the musical instrument.

"I do now. I ...I bought it right before Doyle starting his attacks." He paused. "You've seen it before."

"No I haven't. I actually, this is the first time I've been here. We usually end up at my place."

He contemplated that for a moment. "You're right. Did...did you want me to play something for you?"

She smiled. "That would be nice."

He sat down and began to play a song from memory.

It didn't surprise Emily that he was playing from memory. She was sure he memorized the contents of those music books within a few hours of buying him. What surprised her was the song he was playing, "What Child is This?"

"I didn't expect you to play Christmas music," she said.

He stopped playing. "What do you mean?"

"You're playing _What Child is This_."

"Actually," he said,"I'm playing _Greensleeves_. It's the same tune, but different words." He began to sing:

"Alas, my love, you do me wrong,  
To cast me off discourteously.  
For I have loved you well and long,  
Delighting in your company.

Greensleeves was all my joy  
Greensleeves was my delight,  
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,  
And who but my lady greensleeves."

He paused playing, when he felt her hands on his shoulders. She kissed his cheek.

"Well, Dr. Reid, I have delighted in your company as well."

"And I delight in yours too. But we have to talk about tonight, don't we?"

"We could always pretend it never happened. Like it was a bad a dream."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

He paused for a moment. "It happened. It happened for a reason, and ignoring it doesn't make anything better. I made an assumption, that you were going to want to end it. Because Morgan suspects what we're doing. We've been keeping it quiet because we haven't been working with the team lately, but that's going to end soon. It's only a matter of time before they know."

"So what?"

"Emily.."

"Reid, Hotch is dating Garcia. It's not going to create an issue."

"If it was up to Hotch. You know it's not. And it's only a matter of time before Strauss knows about Hotch and Garcia. And if she finds out about us...someone will have to leave the team. Maybe the FBI, and I know this job is important to you..."

"Not as important as you. That's why ..."

"Why what?"

"Nothing."

"No, there's something isn't there?"

She stared at him. The stare almost became a glare, but it slowly turned into her eyes looking downward in shame. "I was so mad that you thought I would want to end it. If you hadn't left I would have ..."

"Emily, all you did was kiss me."

"No, I tried to have angry sex with you. Because some guys, it turns them on. I thought maybe...no that's not true. I was mad and I just wanted you to stop talking and saying those stupid things."

"Did he...did Doyle...is what he liked?"

"Don't compare yourself to him. Don't do it."

"He did, didn't he?"

"No. Believe it or not, he was actually gentle and tender. No, it was other guys I had angry sex with."

"Did it ever end well?"

"No. But I wasn't really thinking clearly. I was so mad. But I realize I was being selfish. Because I wanted you to know I wasn't like the others, that you're not just ...you're real to me. This is real to me. You're more important to me than this job. So I need you to stop comparing yourself Doyle."

"I'm not."

"You're not the only profiler in the room. Besides, any man in your position would be comparing himself to my past lovers. But don't."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no comparison."

"Sure there is. No matter how different two things are, there's always similarities and differences that can be noticed. As a matter of fact," he would have continued but Emily put her fingers on his mouth.

"I usually enjoy listening to you talk, but right now I need you to listen. There is no comparison to be made. Ian Doyle and I were intimate because it was my job. I came back from the dead for you."

"Emily..."

"Don't try to apply logic. In that ambulance, I was ready to just let go. I was so tired, and to tell you the truth, I didn't feel like I had much to really live for. Then I heard your voice. I didn't think about it, I just knew I did have something to live for. Listen to me, I don't know what the consequences of the team or Strauss finding out about us. I don't care either. Do you know why I have Sergio?"

"Because you like cats?"

"Well, I do like cats, but that's not why. It's because I thought I would never have enough time for a real relationship."

"You thought? You don't think so now?"

"I think there was never anyone I wanted to make time for. I think no one made me willing to give up anything to be with them. But you do."

"I don't want you to give anything up for me."

"And that, Dr. Reid, is just one of the many reasons I love you." Then she started to kiss him. "Maybe we could go into your bedroom, and I could show you some of the other things I love about."

"You know, occurs to me there are many reasons why being with you might contribute to me have not having headaches."

"Are you going to tell me about the various chemicals that flood the brain because of sex?"

"Yes."

"Tell you what, tell me after we have sex."

"Deal."


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Spencer Reid heard the alarm and shut it off. For a few brief moments, he thought about just rolling over and sleeping some more. He felt comfortable in bed, with Emily still asleep next to him, both of them naked. Then he thought Emily might like to have coffee this morning, and so he decided to get up and brew some. But when he moved to get out of bed, Emily wrapped her arms around him tighter.

"Not yet," she growled. "No one gets up for a few more minutes."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because?"

She sighed. "There was a Chinese philosopher who woke up, after dreaming he was a butterfly. He said, he didn't know if he was a Chinese philosopher who had just dreamed he was a butterfly or a butterfly who was now dreaming he was a Chinese philosopher."

"I'm familiar with the story. His name was Chuang Tzu. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because I hate this time of day. It's the worst part of my day."

"Why?"

"Because this the moment when I'm not certain if all of this was a dream or not. I don't want to open my eyes, because there's a part of me that's afraid I'm still in the warehouse being tortured by Ian Doyle. Or worse."

"Worse?"

"Maybe I'm not Emily Prentiss the FBI agent. Maybe I'm still Emily Prentiss the young daughter of a US Ambassador, moving from place to place. She always feels alone, she doesn't fit in anywhere, and she doesn't know what to do. So, just give me a few more minutes to enjoy the idea that none of that is true and the last few weeks weren't a dream."

As she said these things to him, Reid shifted his position until he was looking at her face. He would look at her eyes, but they were still closed. _She means it,_ he realized. _She's really afraid this has been a dream._ For the first time in the years that he knew her, he saw her as completely vulnerable. She wasn't the tough FBI agent, who faced the horrors of terrorists, rapists, and serial killers without flinching. This was a part of her he had never seen. Maybe no one ever had.

He shifted his body until he was on top of her. "Open you eyes Emily," he said softly and gently. "This is real. I'm here. You're here. Ian Doyle is dead. You are FBI agent Emily Prentiss, one of the BAU's greatest assets. And, most importantly, even if those things weren't true, you would still fit in. You are a good person and I love you."

She opened her eyes, and he saw the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes. Before he could say anything else, she gently touched the left side of his face with her hand. "You are so beautiful. That's not a word that's usually used to describe men, but you are beautiful and pretty. Your face is pretty, the words you just said to me are pretty, and you are beautiful down to the depths of your soul. There are not words to describe how much I love you right now." The tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked.

"Those are tears of joy." She closed her eyes again as she stroked his face. He placed his hand over hers, and removed her hand from his face. Then he moved her palm to his lips and started planting kisses all over her hand. Then he leaned down and started planting soft, gentle kisses all over her face. Then he kissed his way down her face to her throat.

His kisses on her throat elicited gentle moans of pleasure. Then he began to work his way down to her breasts, gently biting her left nipple which caused her to cry out. As he sucked on it, his right hand caressed her right breast. He took the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, kneading it. She cried out again,"Oh my God Spencer."

He started to move down further on her body, but she reached down and pulled him back up. "My turn," she said. She flipped him on his back, and started to stroke his erect manhood. As she stroked it, she started kissing him. After a while, she brought her mouth down to his hardness and took it in her mouth. As soon as she started sucking on it, Reid started moaning in pleasure.

In what he felt was too short a time frame, he could feel he was ready to climax. "Emily," he said, "I'm coming, Emily," he tried to disengage his manhood from her mouth, but she refused to relinquish it. She just sucked harder and harder. Then, without warning, Reid could feel his toes curl involuntarily. Then he felt a slight tremble in his leg. In a matter of seconds, his legs were shaking violently, he cried out as he exploded in Emily's mouth. She continued sucking until she had swallowed all of the warm, white discharge.

She climbed on top of him, smiling contently as she snuggled close to him. "That was wonderful, Spencer."

"You did most of the work."

"And I got the reward."

After a few minutes Reid asked,"Do you want breakfast?"

"Not yet."

"Do you plan to stay in bed all day?"

"Not all day. Though we could, it being Saturday and all. But you owe me more time, Spencer Reid."

"How do you figure?"

"You owe me from the other day. You owe me some comfort time."

"And you want to have it now?"

"Very much. Starting with this," she started to kiss him again, and began to make love again.

And again.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is there something going on between Reid and Prentiss" Hotch asked.

"What do you mean?" Garcia said. The two of them were in Hotch's office. Reid and Prentiss's temporary assignment was ending, so the two of them would be back to full duties with the team next week. Hotch and Garcia were talking about that, among other logistical issues, when he started to ask about Reid and Prentiss.

"I mean are they engaging in something other than a professional relationship?"

"Aren't we all doing that?" Garcia countered. "Morgan and I are good friends. So are you and Rossi, as a matter of fact. Dave and Seaver play video games together. None of us has a strictly professional relationship."

"But those two...it's something more than friendship, isn't it?"

"What if it is? What if they have a relationship that's more than friendship?"

"I'll need to have a talk with them about it."

"And what are you going to say? I know you can't say don't do it, because that would be hypocritical, given us."

"I'm not saying it should be discouraged, but if it is happening, I need to talk to them about it. We need to be ready when Strauss finds out."

"How would she find out? Why does she need to know? I mean, it's not like she knows about us, right?"

"Well." Hotch tried to sound causal and calm, but he recognized the dangerous territory he had wandered into with this discussion.

"Aaron," she said in her most disapproving voice,"does Strauss know about us?"

"Yes."

She raised both her eyebrows. "How would she know?"

"I told her."

Penelope didn't say anything, she just glared at him.

"I had to tell her."

"No, I don't think you needed to." she said coldly. "Certainly it wasn't something you had to tell her without discussing it with me first."

"She would have found out sooner or later, so I told her. Then she talked with Dave and Morgan about it."

She kept glaring at him. Aaron recognized that the look. It usually meant she was contemplating some terrible revenge involving cyberspace, Facebook, and email accounts.

"She agreed," Hotch continued, hoping he could salvage this,"that they would intervene if our relationship impeded the team's operation. Knowing that those two would act a check is what's keeping her from doing anything."

"Like what?"

"Like requiring one of us to transfer. Or leave altogether."

"I still think you should have told me you were going to do that."

"I'm sorry Penelope. I didn't want you worry. I ... I'm not good at this part of relationships, I guess."

She eyes softened a little bit. "I'm not mad. I just didn't know you did that. I don't like surprises, that's all."

"You didn't mind it when I surprised you at dinner last week," he said. Last week, he arranged for Jack to stay overnight with Jessica. That meant he and Penelope got to enjoy a romantic evening that began with dinner, ended with breakfast with quite a bit of X-rated fun in between.

Penelope's cheeks suddenly flushed as she remembered some of the high points of that experience. "That's different."

"About Reid and Prentiss ..." Hotch began again.

"Don't you dare."

"Dare what?"

"Anything. Don't ask them about it. Don't talk to them about it. And don't you dare tell Strauss anything about it."

"I wouldn't tell Strauss anything without first talking to Reid and Prentiss. I promise."

"If you," Penelope began.

"I won't."

"But if you do, this," she indicated the part of her anatomy that lay between her legs,"it's closed. In fact, it will be welded. Do you understand, Aaron. _Welded!_ "

"I understand. But something is going on."

"I didn't say that."

"You certainly implied it."

"Don't get all profilely on me, Aaron Hotchner! I can't confirm what I don't know. They _may_ be engaged in ...that, but I don't know that. I think they may be, but I don't know it for sure. And I don't think we should say anything. I think they deserve the same opportunity to let things develop, without any interference. Don't you?"

Hotch briefly considered that point. There was a strong case to be made that fraternization of any kind was dangerous to the team dynamic. Instead, however, he chose to nod. "All right. But if it's detrimentally affecting their performance, I'll need to address it."

"Fine. But if it doesn't, then you need to leave them alone. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Good."

* * *

Several hours later, Reid and Prentiss were having their own conversation regarding the team. They were having dinner at a restaurant, celebrating the end of their assignment with INTERPOL.

"There's something we've been avoiding Emily," Reid said.

"Oh?"

"What happens Monday."

"Monday we go back to the team. That's the whole reason we're celebrating tonight. Maybe we could celebrate all weekend. There's no avoidance at all."

"Except we haven't been working that closely with them these past few weeks. That's the only reason they don't all know we're dating."

"Morgan's pretty sure. So's PG, so don't kid yourself."

"But it's going to be hard to keep it a secret unless we make a careful effort to hide it."

"What's your point?"

"We're going to need to decide what we're going to do about us and the team. Do we try to keep it a secret or not."

"What do you think?"

"I think...at least I hope, that we're past the point of either one of us wanting this to end."

"I never want it to."

"Me either, but you know Strauss may not feel the same."

"Hotch and Garcia are dating, you know that. If she doesn't have a problem with that, how could she have a problem with us?"

"That's assuming she knows."

"I can't imagine Hotch having a relationship with someone on the team and not telling Strauss. His innate sense of duty won't let him."

"Maybe. But I have a hard time imagining her letting it happen either. My point, though, is we need to decide if we tell everyone or we try to hide it"

"You know, after everything I went through with Doyle...I don't want to hide things anymore. I don't want to keep it a secret. Especially not from the team."

"Me either. But do we tell them outright? Or just don't hide it?"

"Why don't we just tell Hotch on Monday? Then it's over with and we can go on from there."

Reid didn't have a chance to answer, because at that very moment both their cellphones went off.

"No,"Emily groaned. "Don't tell me."

Reid looked at his and answered it. "It's a text from Garcia. We have a case."

Emily sighed. "so much for our weekend."

"Well," Reid said,"this is a good opportunity."

"What do you mean?"

"We can tell them before Monday."

"Not how I wanted to tell them."

"Me either. Why don't you call Garcia and I'll get the check."

"And a doggie bag. I'll put up with losing the weekend, but I'll be damned if I lose the rest of dinner."

Reid couldn't help smiling as hailed the waiter.


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the team was in the conference room when Reid and Prentiss came in. Emily still had her take out from the restaurant. She sat down next to Morgan with Reid sitting on the other side of her.

"What's that?" Morgan asked, pointing to the take out.

"We were at dinner." she said.

Morgan's eyebrows both shot up.

"We?" Seaver asked.

"Let's get started," Hotch said, putting an end to any inquiries about Reid and Prentiss.

The briefing went quickly, with everyone mostly focused on the case. When it was over, Hotch said, "Wheels up in 20 minutes."

Everyone filed out of the conference room except for Hotch, Reid and Prentiss.

"Hotch," Reid said, "we have something we need to talk to you about."

"No you don't."

"Actually Hotch, we were going to talk to you about it on Monday, but before we go on the case..." Emily's voice trailed off.

"I know what you're talking about, and I'm saying we don't need to have a talk about it."

"But Hotch," Reid started again, but Hotch interrupted.

"If there's a problem during the case, we'll talk. Otherwise, your personal life is personal. Now let's go." Hotch walked out of the conference room. Reid and Prentiss looked at each other in bewilderment.

"What just happened?" Emily asked.

"I think he said it's okay."

"But just like that? I mean that's a little fast."

Reid looked out the conference room door and saw Hotch talking with Garcia. "Like maybe he had already talked with someone?"

Prentiss joined him at the door and saw the same thing. "Wow. You think PG?" she left the rest of the question unsaid.

"Yeah."

"Wow." They looked at each other for a moment. Then she smiled. "Just remember, you owe me dessert."

"What do you mean?"

"We never got to dessert. And you didn't order any for the doggy bag."

"We're on a case!"

"I didn't say you don't have a good excuse. But you still owe me dessert." She collected her things and walked out the door. "Don't dawdle, Spencer, we have a flight to catch."

* * *

It had been a long day. After getting into Seattle, the team had worked almost through the night and all the next day. The police had a preliminary profile. The team was working on refining it, and Hotch had everyone on orders to get a good night's rest to deliver the refined profile to the police in the morning.

Emily and Reid had managed to get a room together. Emily used the bathroom first. Spencer elected to collapse on the bed. He had dozed off when he heard Emily call him from the bathroom.

"Spencer! I need your help in here."

Reid got up, still drowsy. He opened the door, and saw Emily had drawn a bath. He also saw she was in the tub. She smiled seductively at him when he walked in. "Hi," she said brightly. "I need someone to wash my back. I can't quite reach there."

"Wouldn't it be easier to shower?"

"But not as relaxing. I promised myself when I was on cases, I would take a bath whenever possible."

"Even though you can't reach your back?"

"Fortunately, I have you to help."

"I see." Reid smiled in spite of himself. He kneeled down next to Emily. "I'm just surprised you don't have candles or didn't turn this into a bubble bath."

"I didn't have them packed in my go bag yet. I will next time."

"I see. Hand me the soap and I'll wash your back."

"Not like that."

"How should I do it?"

"Get in with me."

"I'll get my clothes wet."

She chuckled. "Take them off first."

"So, this whole bath is just a way to get me naked."

"You know, you have a bright future as a profiler."

Reid shook his head, smiled, and started taking off his clothes.

* * *

On the plane ride back, Rossi sat next to Hotch.

"So, did you talk to Reid and Prentiss yet?"

"About what?"

"Aaron, they practically announced they're together."

"It didn't interfere with their ability to work."

"I never said it did or would."

"Then there's not much need to discuss anything, is there?"

"But you would have had the discussion anyway, to clear the air if nothing else. Especially since they're back with us and not working with INTERPOL anymore. What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. Something happened."

Hotch was quiet.

"Garcia had a talk with you, didn't she?"

Hotch shifted in his seat.

"Things are really getting serious between the two of you."

"I told her about our arrangement. With Strauss."

"How did she take it?"

"She's irritated. She'll get over it. Eventually."

"So when are you going to propose?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every so often you put your hand in your pocket. I'm guessing you have something in there, something you didn't have before. Like a charm. If Garcia bought something like that for you, you would wear it. So it must be something you bought for her. Something you bought, but haven't given to her. The only thing I can imagine you would hesitate to give her would be an engagement ring. So, when are you going to propose?"

"I keep meaning to, but it never seems to be the right time."

"When did you get it?"

"Right after we got back from Boston."

"Doyle?"

Hotch nodded.

Rossi nodded. "Do yourself a favor, don't wait too long."

"We haven't been seeing each other that long."

"But you know she's the one, don you?"

"I do but ..."

"No buts about it, Aaron. If you think she's the one, don't hesitate. Take a look at Reid and Prentiss. It's been only a few weeks since Boston and somehow they put things together. It seems fast, but it's just something that's been brewing for a long time. Of course, now we know why she's been putting it off."

"What?"

"Doyle. I bet she's been keeping herself from having anything because of him. I bet he's always been at the back of her mind, keeping her from being really happy. But now, she's finally allowing herself to be happy. I think maybe it's time you did the same. Think about it."

For the rest of the flight home, Aaron Hotchner thought of little else.


	13. Chapter 13

Several hours after they were back from the case, Hotch was still in his office. Just about everyone else went home. Reid and Emily left and made vague references to getting dessert. Seaver looked a little troubled and bewildered by it all. Maybe she was just tired.

Most everyone thought Hotch was working, but actually he was waiting.

There was a knock on his door and Penelope Garcia walked in. "I think you need to get home. I'm sure Jack wouldn't mind seeing his Dad."

"Jack's asleep."

"I think he could stand to be woken up and see his father."

Hotch looked up from his paperwork. "How long are you going to be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I'm not mad. "

He just kept looking at her with a questioning look on his face.

She sighed, and muttered under her breath,"I hate profilers."

He didn't say anything, he just tried hard to hide a smile.

"I'm not mad!" she said. Then, is a softer tone, she said,"Well, I'm not really mad. I just don't like surprises."

"You hide it well."

"Hey!"

"I remember you almost beat Gideon with his own crutches when he made a mess in your office."

"That's different."

"Penelope," he began, but she interrupted him.

"Don't you 'Penelope' me! You talked to Strauss about us with telling me! You told Rossi and Morgan too. You ..."

"So you are mad."

She sighed and sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"No. I'm not. I tried to be mad. While you were on the case, I tried to be mad. I tried to work up the anger and i couldn't do it. I understand it. You can't carry on with a member of your team without making sure it's right with the Bureau. You wouldn't feel right about it any other way. You have to make sure you're not doing something wrong. That's just you. I get it."

"And?"

"And... It's one of the things I love about you. I just...I don't want to have to think about Strauss. I was hoping we wouldn't have to worry about her."

"We can't avoid it. At some point she would find out about it."

"I know. But..."

"But I should have talked to you about it first. I'm sorry."

She sighed again. "You're forgiven."

"Good."

"Now, go home and see Jack."

"Not yet."

"Aaron, there is nothing that needs to get here that can't wait. Go see your son!"

"There's one thing that can't wait. Something I need to talk about."

"If this is about Reid and Prentiss..."

"Not directly. It's something I've been putting off for a while."

"What is it?" Garcia was suspicious. She just wanted to get him home to Jack. She had been a little harsh with him before they left on the case, and was afraid he was burying himself in work as a result. He had a tendency to do that. She was planning on surprising him tomorrow by showing up with breakfast. Now she was worried.

"It's something I keep meaning to talk to you about, but it never seems to be the right time."

"Will putting it off one more day really hurt?"

"I've put it off long enough."

"Look, Aaron, if this is about before ..."

"Do you remember Boston?"

"You mean when we almost lost our Emily? Yeah, I remember. I wish I didn't."

"Do you remember how I stayed behind when the rest of you went home?"

"To stay with Emily."

"Partly. But not entirely. When I was sitting in the hospital, I kept thinking about how dangerous our lives are. I mean, that time we almost lost Emily. But we could have lost any of us. We were lucky." His voice was thick with emotion.

Garcia put her hand over his and squeezed it reassuringly. "Hey, we're okay. When we work together, not even someone like Doyle can stop us."

He smiled and shook his head. "It's a nice thought, but not completely accurate. At any moment, anything can happen. No one knows that better than me."

Neither one of them said it, but they were both remembering how Foyet killed Hotch's ex-wife.

"Aaron..."

Hotch shook his head. "So you have to know what's important and hold onto that. So I stayed in Boston to get this." He placed a small gift box on the desk. He took the top off to reveal a ring. It was white gold with a beautiful blue sapphire at the center. Garcia had never seen anything so beautiful in her life.

"Aaron, it's beautiful. Is it ?"

"We've been so busy, down too agents, it never seemed like a good time. We've never talked about what's next, but I want to marry you. Will you marry me, Penelope?"

It was a simple, no-frills proposal. To Penelope Garcia, however, it was the most sentimental and romantic proposal ever. Tears welled in her eyes as she enveloped Aaron in a massive hug. "Of course it's yes. Of course it is."

She could feel him smile before she saw it. As soon as she saw his face, she kissed him. That kiss, lasted for a long, long time.


End file.
